Often times people say that they have their relationship under control when inwardly there are some needs that have been left unmet. These unmet needs create a challenge to the relationship. Let's face it, we all have needs. It's not a crime to admit that we have them. But it's how we go about satisfying our needs that either brings us satisfaction or regret. The evidence of a deficiency should not be the thing that slows anyone down in their relationship. It should for a time become the focal point of attention until that area can be understood and addressed through the learning of appropriate coping skills versus the alternative. Infidelity can be in fact the recognition of a much greater systemic problem which may need further exploration. What are the relationship's deficits? What are the partner's needs? These understandings can lead the person to become quite aware of where they are weak and where to begin building. We can learn from Kevin Hart as men, and equally women in knowing that the roots of our relationship cannot stand without a continual evaluation of our development within our relationship and the truths about our needs that we must actively attend to daily.
- Calvin Smith, MA, LPC
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